Archive for August, 2007

-9.8: Pure Fashion

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

Umm, God as decider of fashion? This program–to train high school girls as modestly dressed models to “emphasize a young woman’s inherent dignity and therefore create in her a desire to dress and act in accordance with that dignity”–is inherently creepy. Their slogan is “Where values and virtues are always in Vogue!” Other gems include:

  • virtue is the most important must have for every season.
  • being healthy, physically fit, clean and well groomed is always in style.
  • our bodies are holy and sacred and our clothing should not reveal what should be concealed.

    • And some choice fashion guidelines (obviously these are very stylish women):

    Shirts

  • the backs [of shirts] should be modest i.e.: no strappy backs, halter or missing backs — Tank tops should not be modeled without a shirt, jacket, or sweater over them
  • the neck line should be no lower than 4 fingers below collar bone
  • no very thin or sheer material
  • may not be too tight in the bust area
  • should not allow the shape of bra to be seen in the back (if you can it’s too tight)
  • can not be spandex or very tight shirts

    • Pants

  • should not be too tight, especially in the seat or the thigh area
  • should fit well, but not be “skin-tight”, one should be able to pull them away from the leg
  • shorts should be modest- no very short and/or tight shorts; if you put your arms down straight at the side, and the bottom of the shorts is higher than your longest finger, then the shorts are too short. (Remember, we will be on an elevated runway and everything will look a bit shorter to the audience.)
  • take care to make sure there are no “panty lines” on stage. If necessary, wear pantyhose or a “thigh shaper” to hold everything in and create a smooth appearance in your clothing.

    • More Pure Fashion Guidelines

    When buying clothes and dressing to express your dignity as a classy young lady:

  • Remember that you live in many different positions, even if you are not in yoga class! You sit, stand, lean over, climb up stairs with people behind you, and sit at tables facing speakers, bosses or teachers. How do your clothes or lack of clothes appear to the people who are next to you, above you and below you in all your daily positions?
  • Blouses and shirts that are too loose can be as immodest as tight ones. If the neckline droops from your body when you bend over, guess what everyone can see? The body parts that your blouse was designed to cover! If the armpit is too loose, think about the view of the guy standing next to you - right to the inside!
  • Blouses that button sometimes have see through gaps between the buttons, so consider if there is a side view to the inside, this may not be the blouse to buy or wear. Or is it too tight and comes unbuttoned easily? You may need to wear a full slip or tank top underneath.
  • Lift your arms up over your head when you look in the mirror. Does your back or belly show? If so, you need a longer look or a layer underneath.
  • If you wear a skirt that is too short and go up stairs at work, church or school, guess what shows to the people behind you on the stairs? Then what else happens when you sit down? The skirt rides up and your upper thighs are exposed, or worse yet, your underwear can be seen.
  • Let your clothes be an advertisement of your dignity as a young lady. If you’re dressed like a young lady, you’re more likely to act like a young lady.

    • It’s not like I dress like Britney or Lindsay or anything on a regular basis, but these guidelines are just over-the-top! Talk about letting the virginal ideal permeate your everyday life. They even have an online store that sells Pure Fashion paraphernalia–water bottles, purses, and THANK YOU CARDS FOR RETAILERS WHO SELL PURE FASHION-COMPATIBLE CLOTHING.

    I kid you not. This is an affront to all embarrassed and fashion-challenged and awkward high school girls everywhere. It would probably be even more offensive were I actually religious.pure_fashion.jpg

    This is not awesome | 2 Comments »

    +6/-6: Matt Corley v. Patrick Cox

    Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

    Dear Mr. Corley,

    Does Think Progress pay you so poorly that you have been forced to work nights as a tax specialist? Or is it the other way around Mr. Cox? Have you been burdened by the woes of the IRS for years and just been waiting for your chance to break into Internet media?

    Either way, you are a man with two dreams. And that it something to be admired.

    I salute you Mr. Coxley.

    Hearts,
    Angela Chase

    This is awesome, not awesome | No Comments »

    +8.0: Hello Kitty Enforces the Law

    Tuesday, August 7th, 2007

    China tends to execute officials who commit crimes of bribery or corruption (see: pet food, people food, etc). But the Thai police have come up with a different approach for their rogue officers:

    hello kitty armband on thai police officer

    Yes, that is exactly what you think it is. A neon pink Hello Kitty armband being pinned on the sleeve of a (fake) shamed Thai police officer. Ten of the bands have been produced, but so far none issued to delinquent officers, meaning the slightly smirking man in the photo is indeed a model.

    According to the gutsy, groundbreaking reporting of The New York Times, the Thai police first tried plaid armbands, but found them to be so popular that the offending officers kept them as a source of pride–and fashion obviously.

    Lucky for the force, the leaders decided to go for an even more awesome design and selected Hello Kitty in an apparent effort to shame officers into good behavior. Unlucky for the leaders, they chose the most awesome design ever, especially if you happen to be a Japanese school girl. I predict the new armbands will last no more than three hours in circulation before Japanese tourists have swiped them from the biceps of hapless Thai police officers.

    This is awesome | No Comments »

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